My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
