this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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