me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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