Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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