Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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