I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
