No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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