I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
ok first of all what the fuck
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
