have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
