On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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