I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
