Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
