I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
