Umm I'm too high to move.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
two words...techno handjob
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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