I need help removing her.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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