guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize