based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Quick, to the slutcave!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
