Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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