He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
