I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I FOUND THE LEGS
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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