Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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