you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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