I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
