I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
