Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
