i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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