Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
