Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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