you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
