Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
