I have demons in me.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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