"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am available for nakedness
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
