just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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