About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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