please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
