I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
