the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
