Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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