i jhust puked up my retainher.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
so much tequila, so little girl.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize