you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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