she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
