All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
