Non-Jews are for practice
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
