Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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