I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
