Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
