To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize