also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
