I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
