My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There's always time for handjobs
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize