I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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