Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I smell stomach acid.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
