Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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