Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
