I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
