coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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