I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
