not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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